1/7/24

Are you a narcissist? Here's your quiz...

DailyKenn.com — [transcript] Are you easily offended? Now, this is the first of eight questions we're going to ask you because we want to know, I mean, I don't want to know, but I want you to know if you have narcissistic traits or maybe even be a full-blown narcissist. So I thought, hey, let's ask these eight questions so you can test yourself. You don't have to tell me what your outcome is unless you just want to.

You don't have to tell anybody else. Obviously, you don't have to, but you may want to. So we got eight of these.

Narcissism is, well, it's a personality disorder. And I don't know if you've ever been around somebody who is narcissistic, but it seems like they don't even know they are narcissistic. In fact, a lot of people who are narcissistic tend to be very charismatic.

At least they present that way. That's the way they seem. But number one is, are you easily offended when you're around other people? Now, it doesn't matter who they are, where they are.

It could be your family, people within your family members. Do they easily offend you by things they say or things they don't say or things they do or things they don't do? Now, I'm talking about little things that are really not intentionally meant to be offensive because there are offensive people out there and you can't help but to be offended by them. Everybody is.

But I'm talking about being offended by things that were not intended to be offensive or really weren't offensive, but you just felt offensive. That's number one. Are you easily offended? Number two is, do you have a sense of superiority? Okay, everybody has a sense of superiority to some degree, but yeah, I think maybe there's this thing called self-esteem.

That's not what we're talking about. There's something else called just self-respect. Yeah, we're not talking about that either.

Self-respect, that means you comb your hair. That means you're good at grooming. You dress yourself well because you respect other people.

And some people can look at you and say, that guy is so arrogant. Look at the way he dresses. So that's not exactly what we're talking about.

We're talking about actually assuming that you are better than other people in most every way. You may not want to admit it, but you kind of think that you really can't do anything wrong. Even when you do something wrong, you got a good excuse for it.

I mean, you can explain away just about anything narcissist I've experienced in my life. And this is all about what I've learned from my experience, from what I've been taught myself, autodidactic. That's where I'm getting all this.

So you may be wondering if you are one of those people who in the quietness of the moment, when no one else is around, you know good and well, you really don't do anything wrong. You're basically a good guy.
And if someone accuses you of doing something wrong, even, you know, deep down inside you were wrong, you're not going to admit it.

I think maybe you may have a trait of narcissism. Now, there are two ways that narcissists rise above others. They see themselves as superior.

Method number one is they just elevate themselves. They just flat out say, I'm better than this guy. Or they may not say it.

They may try to demonstrate it with a smirk or a push or shove or whatever, but they are better than others. Do you feel that way? You may have narcissism working in your very spirit. The other way is sometimes they like to lower other people, put other people down a peg or two.

One thing you'll notice about narcissists is they always like to take someone down a peg or two. But you never hear a narcissist trying to take somebody up a peg or two, unless they're trying to manipulate them. Then they may compliment somebody.

Then they may help somebody. Then they may try to give somebody a tip or help them out doing some project. But it's selfish.

So do you help people because you've been selfish? Okay, then maybe you have that sense of superiority. Number three, do you feel entitled? Well, entitled to respect. Everyone should respect me.

You're not the wrong. You never have been. You never will be, even though you know good and well you have been.

And you know you probably are, even when you say that you're not. No, you haven't ever been in the wrong. You're just not going to admit it to yourself.

Okay, that's a sense of entitlement. I got a good example for you. I remember way back in the 70s.

I'm in my 70s, but we're talking about the year, the decade, the 70s. I was at a convention in Washington, D.C., and we were staying at a motel. When the conference was over, we had a driver drive us to the airports.

We could get our flights, obviously. And on the way to the airport, there was this guy, middle-aged, probably in his late 40s, I'm guessing. And he was upset.

I mean, he was really mad, because he was riding in the backseat. I mean, he thought he was entitled to sit in the front seat. I'm thinking, how immature and childish is that? Who cares? It's just so long as you get to the airport.

But this guy is really upset about that. That's what we're talking about when we say a sense of entitlement. Now, the interesting thing about this guy is he happened to be the pastor of a church.

He was a minister. He seemed to miss out on some spiritual lessons, like the pride goeth before the fall, or there's seven things that God hates. And number one is a proud look, proud attitude.

But some people, they just have a sense of entitlement. And we have a name for it. It's called narcissism, or it's a component of narcissism.

Number four is, do you feel like you need to control most everything all the time? Every time. That would be an indication that you have a sense of narcissism, that you may be narcissistic. So stop and think about it.

Do you control when you're at home, everything has to be your way? I mean, there's some people who are extreme about this. What about at the workplace? You feel like, well, they didn't do it right because they didn't do it my way, because my way obviously is right. Why? Well, because it's my way.

Or maybe in your neighborhood, you live in one of those neighborhoods with a homeowner's association. Narcissists love to run a homeowner's association because they like to control people. They love to be in control.

But it is new. So if you are one of those people that feels like you got to be in control of everything all the time, I'm not talking about controlling the sense of being personally responsible for your actions. I'm talking about controlling other people and being responsible for their actions and feeling like they always do it wrong and you could have done it better.

Narcissists love to push people out of the way so they can show them how it's done, even though they have the clueless. Narcissists, backseat drivers, that's where they're at home. They love to be in control, even when they're not touching the steering wheel.

You are their, what would you call that, an audio or voice activated driving system. And usually they're not in the backseat like the guy who was going to the airport. They think they should be, but in the front seat.

Sometimes the backseat driver's in the front seat, telling you how to drive. Okay, maybe you need some help driving. But my experience is, typically, these people, it doesn't matter.

If you make a right turn, they'll tell you, you should have gone the other way. If you make a wrong turn, they won't stop talking about it. Number five is, do you crave attention? I mean, crave attention.

Now, you may not know that you do, but imagine you're with a group of people. It could be at the workplace. Yeah, let's say that you're at the workplace and there's a group of people talking and somebody's saying something and you just talk over top of them.

You didn't even notice you were doing it, because you need to be center stage. You need to be the one who gets the attention, who deserves the attention, because, well, after all, you know more than this guy.
And it is so second nature to you, you may not even be aware that the other guy is offended, unless the other guy stands up to you.

And you over talk this person, and he just keeps on talking. What does a narcissist do? They get upset. Let's say that person is talking over top of me.

I mean, the narcissist will project onto this other person. So do you crave attention? Do you like to be dramatic? Historonic is another way some people define that or refer to that. Number six is, are you irresponsible? Do you pay your bills on time? I mean, you got the money, you just don't pay them.

Do you borrow money or things and items and don't return them or don't pay back your debts? What about your credit cards? You got money in the bank to pay your credit cards, but you just don't pay them and
build up that interest. I know people that actually do that. And I know people, or I don't know them, but I've heard of people who they have this knack for borrowing other people's credit cards.

They just got it down to a science. And they get the credit card and they'll run up thousands of dollars in debt. Now that's kind of rare, but it does happen.

Okay, I would say that's kind of a narcissist. That's extreme irresponsibility. But do you take credit for your flaws? Not too many people are good at that.

I mean, if you make a mistake, how many people say, yep, I made a mistake, I'm sorry. I don't like to do that. I don't know about you, but I don't want to admit that I have flaws.

You know why? Because as soon as I admit I have a flaw, there's a narcissist standing by the side, ready to pounce. It's a weakness as far as he or she is concerned. I'm the wounded gazelle, or you're the wounded gazelle.

And when you admit you have a flaw, they're ready to pounce. Well, narcissists just don't like to admit they have flaws. But they're really good at admitting you have flaws.

They're good at admitting other people have flaws. So this is, we're asking you, are you irresponsible? Do you take responsibility for your bills, for the things that you do wrong? It's hard to do. I mean, I got to tell you, when I was a kid, okay, when I was a kid, my whole life, I've done things that are so stupid, and it just burns inside of me.

When I would offend somebody, it just tears me up inside until I make it right. I mean, it just does. But some people, well, I think that's true of most people, but some people, they think that's, they see that as a victory.

If they're able to, they scored a point. If they're able to, you know, intentionally scam somebody, not by mistake, but intentionally scam somebody or by mistake, give them a thumbs up. That's their attitude.

Yeah, they got some points on their scoreboard. So are you responsible or irresponsible? And if you are irresponsible, I mean, you do pay your rent, right? I mean, I understand some people struggle financially.
We're not talking about that.

We're saying people who are capable of doing it, but they don't. That's a sign to me that this person has a narcissistic trait that needs to be dealt with. Number seven, do you respect boundaries? Now, let's think of a narcissist.

What is the narcissist's boundaries? I mean, he has, or she has boundaries. I don't know, because quite frankly, I just don't know how big the universe is. But whatever that is, maybe I'll Google it after a while.

But whatever that is, that's the narcissist's boundaries. Okay, now, if a narcissist has boundaries that are infinite, where are your boundaries? You don't have any. Nobody has any.

All boundaries are his or her boundaries. Okay, now, if you're the narcissist, you're one of those people who think laws are for everybody else. Now, there's some little things people do now and again, like drive too fast when they don't have to.

I would say that's pretty much everybody. But there's other things like, you know, we have laws in our county that you can't let your dog run loose. Okay, that's a little bit different because most people in our neighborhood, they keep their dog tied up and they keep them under control.

We'll keep them in a yarded fence, gated fence, fenced yard, I should say. But other people, they don't care if their dog chases you down the road. You know, no big deal.

They'll come back. They're not worried about you. I mean, it's their dog.

It's their, I mean, the whole world is their yard. They don't respect boundaries. That is a narcissistic trait in my understanding.

All right, that takes us to number eight. And that is, that's probably the big one. And that is, do you lack empathy? You want to go over these again real quick? All right, are you easily offended is one.

Do you have a sense of superiority? Well, you should have a little bit, but not, you know, that's number two. Number three, do you feel entitled? Number four, do you need to control all the time? Number five, do you crave attention? I want to be a rock star. Number six, are you irresponsible? Number seven, do you respect boundaries? Number eight, do you lack empathy? You know what empathy is, right? Empathy is when you just care.

You know, just another word for caring. There's a lot of different types of empathy, but typically psychologists, psychiatrists that I read narrow it down to two kinds of empathy. One is what we would call affective or emotional empathy.

That's where you feel other people's emotions. For example, if you see somebody sitting all alone and maybe it's a kid, they're kind of crying, your heart goes out to them. That is affective emotional empathy.

The other kind is cognitive empathy. That's just awareness. I got to tell you, I might be good at emotional empathy, but when it comes to cognitive empathy, that is just aware of what other people are thinking.

I didn't go to mind reading school. You know, I didn't learn how to do this. People make faces at me and I'm wondering, well, usually I can tell, but I'm wondering, is that a mad face or a happy face? Okay, that might be a little bit extreme because usually I can tell mad from happy, but a lot of folks, you know, disgust or something else like, well, arrogance, they're displaying that persona of narcissism.

This is where I get myself into trouble is I don't pick up on that. Now, normal people should be able to pick up when somebody's acting, we used to call it acting cocky, you know, acting a little bit arrogant, which by the way, narcissists typically don't do that because they know how to mask, you know, they're like entertainers, somebody in a play, you know, the world is their stage. They put on the makeup, they put on the mask, they dress it up, they act it, and you don't know they're a narcissist until they're out of costume.

And they always come out of costume. So do you lack empathy, either affective or cognitive? I got to say, yeah, I lack cognitive empathy. I told you I wasn't going to admit to anything, but I'll make an exception here.

Affective empathy, probably, if it's possible to be too empathetic, I probably, well, maybe, maybe you can't be too empathetic. Maybe you can't have too much emotional empathy. Unless you give away everything every time somebody looks like they're having a problem.

Okay, I guess, you know, I'm having this debate in my mind, you tell me what you think. Can you have too much emotional empathy? Yes or no? If you think so, let us know in the comment section. If you think this video was of value, then we invite you to join our group, join our family, subscribe to our YouTube channel, give this video a thumbs up if you think it deserves it.

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