DailyKenn.com —
🙚 Narcissists target individuals they perceive as superior to themselves to compensate for their own feelings of inferiority.
🙚 They exhibit both envy and jealousy, desiring what others have while also not wanting others to have what they possess.
🙚 Narcissists operate with a mindset akin to entitled toddlers, feeling entitled to everything.
🙚 They constantly crave validation and admiration, seeking to fill a void within themselves through manipulating of others.
🙚 Narcissists engage in constant comparison with others to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy.
🙚 They defend their perceived prestige aggressively and seek to elevate themselves by putting others down.
🙚 Despite their outward arrogance, narcissists lack true self-confidence and use it as a cover-up.
🙚 They have an insatiable appetite for validation and are never satisfied with what they have.
🙚 Victims should recognize the personal nature of narcissistic abuse but also understand that they are just one of many targets.
🙚 Narcissism is often a coping mechanism for deep-seated feelings of inferiority, but sympathy for narcissists should be limited as they can seek help but often choose not to.
🙚 Narcissism is acting superior to compensate for inferior feelings.
transcript:
One of the greatest compliments you could ever have is to be the victim of a narcissist. Now, I'm not saying that it's pleasant to be the victim of a narcissist or that you should want that kind of a compliment, but still, it's a compliment. And this is the reason, by the way, we're going to tie all this together in just a moment, but the narcissist wants what you have, because the narcissist sees you as being superior.
They see you as having better personality traits, better character traits, better attributes, usually better things, more wealth. They see you as being superior to them, and so they target you so that they can use you for supply. So vicariously, they kind of live through you by manipulating you.
You become their puppet. So we need to begin by understanding this. Number one, and we're going to tie all this together in just a moment, but number one, we need to keep in mind that jealousy and envy are not the same, at least in my way of thinking.
Well, what is the difference? The difference is when you are envious of somebody, you want what that person has. You envy their talent. You envy their money.
You envy their character traits. You envy the person. Jealousy, on the other hand, is kind of the opposite.
Jealousy is when we don't want others to have what we have. We're jealous, and sometimes it's a good thing to be jealous, but we are jealous of maybe got a girlfriend, boyfriend. You're very jealous when somebody tries to move in on you, right? Because you love this person.
And in that sense, that's kind of a good thing. But typically, jealousy, it's a negative, but it does have a positive side. So when we talk about the narcissist being envious, we're really not saying he or she is jealous, even though, quite frankly, we're going to mention this in just a moment.
But actually, they're both. They're both envious and jealous. Our emphasis is on being envious.
So the first thing we understood is the narcissist wants what you have because they see you as being superior, themselves as being inferior. That's a compliment. Number two, they're stuck in this toddler mindset.
Now, we've mentioned this in other videos, but the one thing that a toddler says early in life, one of the first words they learn is the word mine. M-I-N-E. Everything is mine.
If I have it, it's mine. If you have it, it's mine. If nobody has it, it's mine.
Everything belongs to me. Well, we grew up, right? We understand now. Everything doesn't belong to me.
I am not entitled to everything. But a narcissist, their brain seems to be stuck. It's like it's stuck in gear with this entitlement complex where they think they're entitled to everything that everyone has and no one is entitled to anything, particularly the things they have.
They and they alone are entitled. So we call them, I call them entitled toddlers or entitled toddler mindset. Number three, they want your stuff.
I mean, just fill in the blank. Whatever it is that you have, they want it. Now you say, hang on a second.
I know this narcissist and he or she is more attractive than I am. They have more possessions than I do. Maybe they have a higher position.
Often they have a higher position in the workplace, but still they are envious of you. There is something about you that they envy. Usually it has to do with personality, with character traits, something they want from you because they have this void inside and they can never get enough money to fill that void.
They can never get enough prestige to fill that void. They can never get a high enough position to fill that void. They are always craving and looking for more and they want to suck it out of you and anyone else.
By the way, you're not the only victim. We're going to address that in just a moment as well. But this is the way they think that they have this.
They know they have this deficit or they think they know they have this deficit. And the only way to get it or to fill that vacancy is to manipulate other people, to take it from other people. Now, by the way, speaking of jealousy, have you ever noticed that narcissists say they have the best of everything? They will brag about their family.
We're just not that unusual. But their son, their daughter, their brothers and sisters, their immediate family, with a few exceptions. If somebody has stood up to them, they may make an exception.
But they have the best family in the world. Their kid is smarter than your kid. Their brother, sister, their siblings are better than your siblings.
Their car is better than your car. Their job is better than your car. Their intelligence, always, they are more intelligent than you are.
What does that reveal? What does that reveal about the narcissist? It reveals that he or she is comparing himself to yours, his children to your children, his siblings to your siblings, his vehicle to your vehicle, his job to your job, his position, her position to your position. They are in this mindset of comparison and they are trying to compensate. I believe, again, this has been my experience over 70 plus years, they are trying to compensate for that feeling of inferiority and inadequacy.
And they can never fill that void. All right, number four. And this plays into the topic of jealousy, is they want to defend their prestige.
The narcissist is never comfortable sitting in the back seat. He or she feels like she is entitled to sit in the front seat, always, doesn't matter where you are, a theater, a car, a bus, a church, a classroom. They are entitled to sit wherever they want.
And they typically want to be in the most prestigious place. They want to be seen, they want to be acknowledged, and God forbid that you should sit in their seat. They'll throw a hissy fit like you've never seen before.
And I've seen this. It is amazing. Again, this is that childishness, that toddler mindset coming through, but they need to defend their prestige.
And usually, it's prestige they don't have, but they want, that they crave. And even if they are the most prestigious people you know, they still feel inadequate and they feel threatened by you. So what do they do? They try to put you down so they can elevate themselves.
They don't elevate themselves by elevating themselves, but they get ahead of you by pushing you back. Not just you, but others. All right, number five.
The narcissist lacks self-confidence. Now that may seem reverse, but you got to keep in mind that the narcissist acts arrogant to cover up for a lack of self-confidence. It's like he boasts about how wonderful his family is or how intelligent he is compared to you to cover up his lack of intelligence or the fact that he knows that his family is no better than anybody else's family.
So that is a very revealing thing. The fact that they are arrogant shows that they are lacking self-confidence. It's a cover up.
Number six, and this is important, they are never ever satisfied. They have an insatiable appetite for what you possess. Not just you, but for everybody.
They feel like they're inadequate and they've got a bad shake and everybody else has it better than them. So they have to use others for supply whenever they think they can get away with it. And they look for people like you.
Why is it that a narcissist targeted you? Because they saw you as being vulnerable. You're somebody who probably they viewed as needing a friend or would be open to them pretending to be your friend or your romantic interest, whatever. But they're never satisfied.
Now, number seven is don't take it personal. We've already touched on this a couple times, but it is personal. So you have to acknowledge and recognize that it's personal, but don't take it personal in the sense that you think you are singled out and you are targeted and nobody else is.
Keep in mind that narcissists need an endless supply. And typically they have several people going at once. It's kind of like a conveyor belt.
And they have a number of people on their conveyor belt. Now, some of them fall off the end, but there's others being put on the other end. And you're just one person on the conveyor belt.
And eventually you will be discarded. Then the narcissist will want to put you back on the conveyor belt. That is where pop psychology calls it hoovering.
I don't know what the technical term for it is, but they want to put you back on the conveyor belt so they can have another go at you. Don't do it. Break away from it.
All right, let's tie this all together. Narcissism. Are you ready for this? You might want to make a note of this, but narcissism is acting superior.
Emphasis on the word acting, but narcissism is acting superior to compensate for inferior feelings. So when you realize that you have been victimized, you have been abused by a narcissist, in a sense, kind of feel sorry for these people and pat yourself on the back, but feel sorry for them in the sense that they feel so inferior. They're so beaten down.
They feel like they got to take it from everybody else. And I got to tell you, to be honest with you, that's the extent of my sympathy for these people because most narcissists that I know don't have to be narcissists. I mean, with a lot of them, it's an eight.
They're born this way. I understand that, but they can get help. They just don't want to get help.
So now I don't feel sorry for them in the long run, but at least to the extent that I realize this is a person who is stuck in a toddler mindset. We'll see you all next time.
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