1. Sacrifice to satisfy
That is, they are willing to sacrifice everything to satisfy their ego. Narcissists are driven by ego addiction.
If there is one principle to gain from my presentations, it is this: At the core of every narcissist is an addiction. And that addiction is an EGO addiction.
To understand this trait, imagine a person who is addicted to narcotics or alcohol. Many addicts will sacrifice anything and everything to satisfy their craving. Imagine going a day or two without food or drink. Most of us won't make it until lunch time. All we think about is food.
The narcissist's food, his drug, his alcohol, is whatever satisfies his ego. And like any addict, he or she will leave you devastated to satisfy that addiction.
2. Opportunists
The addiction never ceases. Narcissists are always looking for opportunities to satiate their ego addiction. That may include binging on a smear campaign. It may include verbally humiliating you in front of others. It may include flat out conning you; stealing from you.
3. Take advantage
Narcissists take advantage of gullible people. If you have been a victim of a narcissist, it is because he or she marked you -- identified you -- as an opportunity.
4. Empathy and altruism as a weakness
This is the reason that narcissists often join religious groups such as churches. They know religious people are generally kind and eager to help. So narcissists often join religious communities to seek out supply. They learn the religious jargon, they scope out the most vulnerable, they forge close "friendships", and they win your confidence. That, by the way, is why we can them 'con men.'
5. They gaslight and smear without mercy
They will continue to con you until you erect barriers. Barriers are an affront to narcissists. If wounds their highly sensitive egos. When you try to protect yourself, they feel compelled to regain the upper hand. Remember, it's all about their ego. They must feel in control. And they do that though a smear campaign.
6. They are ruthless without morality
Covert narcissists are masters of playing coy; masters of deceptions; masters of faking kindness and empathy. In reality, they are ruthless. Their kindness and apparent empathy are nothing more than ploys -- I call them "coy ploys". It's flat-out deception.
Typical people have a moral compass. For that reason, we don't seem to have the upper hand. Narcissists seem to have the upper hand, particularly during the gaslighting and smear campaign phase. But in reality -- like any addict -- they are the ultimate losers in almost every aspect of life.
You've heard the phrase, "Nice guys finish last"? If that were true, why are prisons not full of nice guys?
7. Narcissism permeates every aspect of their lives
Narcissists never let up because they can't let up. They are addicted; always seeking for a fix no matter the cost. They are abusive at home and at work. They are scheming a school and at church. The brains of narcissists have one mode of operation; one gear, and that is scheming or constant deception.
8. Enjoy causing pain
Narcissists seem to have the upper hand because they enjoy causing pain. Most of us are repulsed by backstabbers and shady deals. We are overwhelmed by guilt and shame if we overpay at a grocery store or accidentally bump into someone. Narcissist get a thrill out of hurting others and seeing them in pain.
When I had brain surgery a few years ago, a narcissist in my life couldn't wait to get on his cell phone and share the good news; to spread it around. He was actually giddy of the mere thought that I could die.
9. Rules are for fools
Most every narcissist I knew viewed rules as mere suggestions that are best ignored. Rules are for fools. And for that reason, they seem to have an upper hand because they cut corners; a lot of corners. They cheat and steal to get ahead and, for time, it appears they are winning. They are inherent grifters.
But appearances, like narcissists, are deceptive.
I've never known a narcissist who was truly happy.
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