DailyKenn.com — [transcript]
We're going to tie these seven points all together at the very end, so stick with us to make sense of this. But number one is narcissists tend to deny it, deny their past. So we're asking the question, you know, what happens when the past finally catches up to the narcissist? And what I found in my experience, you know, I'm in my 70s, I've seen a thing or two, and now I'm just kind of sharing with you some of my life experiences with narcissists.
And believe me, I've had a few. Okay, I've had more than a few, but I've been there, done that. And I don't know what age you are, but chances are, unless you're in your 80s, I've experienced your stage in life to some degree.
You know, not exactly, obviously, but the thing that I've learned, dealing with these people who are narcissists or have narcissistic, strong narcissistic traits, is they like to deny, I mean, really, they love to deny who they are, more specifically, what they have done, because there's nothing there. Absolutely, positively, nothing there to be proud of. They are, in a sense, maybe not ashamed of their past, but they are aware that their past will hurt them.
And it's all about them, and they don't want to be hurt. These people, they really don't have empathy. You understand that, I think.
And their altruism is, if there is any altruism at all, it's all focused on them. And coming to terms with their past just doesn't work. It's not that they really are ashamed of it, as you and I would be, but they just, again, as I said a moment ago, they're just very cognitive of the fact that once the story of they really are gets out, well, it's game over, and they're going to have to move on to new supply.
They don't want to do that. If they have good supply, you know, supply is anything that feeds the narcissist ego. If they have good supply, they want to stay where they are, and that involves denying their past.
And they deny it by ignoring it, covering it. We'll talk about that in a moment. Well, that is number two.
They not only deny their past, but they're very dismissive of their past. So if you would bring something up about a narcissist's past, for example, let's say the narcissist had a run-in with the law, and some of them have, some of them haven't, but some of the narcissists I've worked with, one in particular, had a man, as far as I know, he had a 50-page rap sheet. And his rap sheet wasn't that he would commit armed robbery, but he would commit passive robbery.
That is to say, he would buy things and not pay for them. He'd go in to have his car serviced, and he'd say, okay, I'm going to have to come back and bring a check, and they never do. Or he would order something from a local vendor and never pay for it.
I know that because local vendors have told me about this particular guy. And if you bring this up, they're very dismissive. You know, they kind of smirk, and they have an explanation for it and why that didn't work, and maybe this other guy, you know, pulled something over on them.
They try to flip it. So number one was they deny it, or they just dismiss it. That is to say, they don't deny it, but they downplay it.
They say, oh, it's not such a big deal. Number three is they will try to mask it. And I talk about this a lot in other videos.
You want to check out some of those, but they try to mask the things they've done in their past when it finally catches up with them. And remember, we're going to tie these seven points together in just a moment. But they try to mask it with fake excuses.
They try to be somebody that they're not. They try to concoct scenarios that simply are not true because it's all about them. They are the focus.
They are the center of the universe. They are the focus of their world. They want to be the focus center of your world and everyone else's.
That seems to be the objective of their life because they are always, you know, needing that supply to build them up, to convince them, as well as others, that there's something really, really special. Well, number four is this. We have to keep in mind that they know they're wrong.
Now, how do we know that they know that they're wrong? Because they try not to get caught. The fact that they deny it proves they know that they're wrong. The fact that they dismiss it or dismissive proves that they know that they are wrong.
Why would they be dismissive if they did something right? Why would they deny something if it were right? They wouldn't try to mask it if it were something that was not wrong. So they do those three things, deny, dismiss, and mask, because they know they're wrong. Now, I'm not going to say deep down inside they know they're wrong because it's not something that's deep down inside.
It's something that's all over. I mean, they're just all over them. They know it.
They're very cognitive at the back. They're wrong. They just don't care.
To them, wrong is getting caught. Or to a narcissist, being wrong is when they can't scam somebody. That's wrong is when they can't get away with it.
Number five is when the past does catch up with them and it seems like they can't get over it. What they do is they move on to new supply. Now, when we say move on, we have to keep in mind this difference when we use these terms, what exactly we mean.
I think maybe a good example of this would be, have you ever seen a hamster when it runs in that wheel thing in his cage or wherever he is? They're moving, but they're not going anywhere. They're going in circles, right? In a sense. That's what a narcissist does.
He just goes in circles. He moves, but he's not going anywhere. Where you and I, when we move on from the narcissist, we're not going in circles, we're going in a linear direction.
When we say a narcissist moves on, what we're saying is he's moving in a circle. In other words, he has a pattern, a very distinct pattern. We talked about that in another video, you want to watch that.
But he has a very distinct pattern and he or she never leaves that pattern. It's like it's cognitive, it's neurological. They can't help but to be stuck in that pattern.
So they will move, this is number five, they will move to another supply. So they go around the wheel because somewhere on that wheel is another supply, another person, another victim is a better way to say it, I think. Another victim who will feed their ego.
And that's what we're talking about. People, I hate to say people are like food to the narcissist, but in a sense, they really are. So think of a narcissist kind of like a cannibal.
They feed off other people, or a vampire. They feed off other people, that's their supply. A vampire has blood for a supply.
A cannibal eats people. Well, that's what a narcissist does, right? He feeds off of you. Obviously, he's not eating you physically.
I hope not. I'm guessing in some extreme cases, that could be. But nah, they are feeding off you, inflating their ego.
So you're their supply. And they try to keep you in a pantry. Or as I like to say, in a corral.
They think of you kind like a stock trader. So they're keeping you in their sphere of influence. And you think they're your good friend.
They're not. They're pretending. And sometimes you can't tell.
I mean, for years, I had friends who were narcissists who were using me, and I couldn't tell because well, number one, they're very good at what they do. And number two, I'm very good or very bad, however you want to say it, at being gullible. And I think I'm the type of person, probably so are you, it's why you're watching this video, that have a lot of empathy and concern and compassion.
You're an altruistic individual, I'm assuming. And that's what makes you vulnerable. That's what makes you good prey, good supply.
So they move on to new supply if somebody finds them out when the past catches up with them. Number six, this is something that everybody seems to miss. I have no idea why.
I watch other people sometimes on YouTube who are in this space of talking about narcissism. And everybody I've ever listened to always misses number six. We're not going to miss it.
We're not going to overlook it because it is so important. But number six is dupers delight. Google that sometime.
Dupers delight is when the narcissist is found out and their past catches up with them. And they're delighted, in a sense, because, you know, they got away with something. Surprise! You know, I mean, this is their way of giving somebody a birthday present.
Giving somebody a Christmas gift. Only what they're giving you is the awareness that you got scammed. Now, they may not have wanted for you to find out, but when you did find out, they're delighted.
They get that stupid smirk on their face. Yeah, I pulled one over on you. This is the narcissist speaking and he says or she says, I'm smarter than you, right? Because I pulled this over on you.
And they, it's called dupers delight because they duped you. So they gloat. They gloat as they discard you.
They may wish they could hang on to you, but since they can't, they're going to gloat about it. The fact that they, they pulled a big one, they pulled a fast one and you didn't know it. Yeah.
They equate that with being smarter than you. You know, to me, it equates with being dishonest, but not in the mind of the narcissist. All right.
That takes us to number seven. Seven, we're not going to dwell on this one because we talk about it in almost every video because it is omnipresent. It is ubiquitous.
And that is to say the smear campaign and the smear campaign exists for two reasons. Number one is to isolate you from your friends so that you can't communicate to them the truth about the narcissist because he or she does not want the past catching up with him. And number two, the second reason they do the smear campaign is to make themselves look good.
It's why they're tearing you down. They're building themselves up. They're tearing you down in a manner that builds them up.
So they are exposing you. It's the way they put it. They're exposing everything that is bad about you and contrasting themselves as the good guy.
In other words, this is the flip. They're flipping reality. They're turning everything upside down.
And keep this in mind. Keep this in mind because it's important that narcissists have lots of supply. It's not just you.
And you may think, what is it about me? It's not just you. I mean, there were people the narcissist took advantage of before you, lots of them probably, depending on how old they are. And there will be many after probably unless the narcissist is in their 90s or whatever and they're just about done with life.
Yeah, you're just one of many. So it's important, I think, not to take it personally. But then again, you have to take it personally because you were personally attacked, but not because it was you.
Okay, let's tie all this together. What we need to understand is when we talk about these seven things, denial, dismissal, masking, knowing they're wrong, moving on to new supply, new personal light, and that ubiquitous smear campaign that's always going to be there. The thing that ties it all together is we need to keep in mind that the narcissist, you ready, always lives with his or her past.
They are cognitively aware of it. It sears on their, maybe not their conscience, but on their memory. And as we said earlier, they live with this and they're not ashamed of it.
Actually, they're kind of proud of it. They're kind of proud of all the things they got away with, but they're very cognitive of the fact that if they get found out, it's going to hurt them. It's going to, they'll be found out, their game will be over and they will lose a supply, which is not what they want.
So the vampire doesn't want you to know he's a vampire. The cannibal doesn't want you to know he or she is going to have you over for dinner, so to speak. They don't want you to know these things, but they know them and they, you know, they like it.
So they're not ashamed of it. But keep in mind, as we tie these things together, that the narcissist is always living with his past and the fear, and the fear that they're going to be found out. Now, if you got something out of this video, join our family by hitting the subscribe button or whatever it is.
And the bell, when you click the bell, that tells YouTube to send you notifications when we upload more videos. So you obviously want to click the bell. If when you give this video a thumbs up, if you think it deserves it, you know, that that will help us and send us a message that, hey, I liked what you had to say, do more of it.
And we appreciate that. But leaving a comment not only helps us get feedback from you, but it also starts a conversation where you can join the conversation. I already started in the comment section.
So, you know, participate, be one of us, and we'll see you all next time.